Ranger's Redone
by Pendragon.P a s s i o n
Summary: Will's gangsta, Halt's a poshie, Horace's hillbillie & so on. Quite insane, don't like, don't read. rated for some of Will's appauling language lol flames will be used to burn those that send them. RRR. relax.read.review.
1. How Will REALLY Got Onto Warmweed

**kk...so this is another one...based off the part in The Burning Bridge when Will, Horace and Gilan are going to Celtica and Gilan is teaching them the double knife defense.....TOTALLY love this part of the book so I rewrote it...this chappie holds a dear part in my heart as this is the original Ranger's Redone..if you dont like RR then blame this chappie for as myself and friend were talking about personalities Gilan being emo was the first we came up with and this is really the idea we came up with... :D**

**Will = gangsta**

**Horace = hillbillie **

**Gilan = emo**

**Horace didn't quite work as well as I hoped but oh well....I'll write another one later for him...**

**ENJOY!!..**

**Jump Off**

Ruefully, Horace rummaged in his pack for his sharpening steel and, sitting down on the hard-packed sand, began to draw it along the edge of his sword.

"Yo brooh," Will said to Gilan. "I've been thinken, foh shizzle ma nizzle..."

Gilan raised his eyebrows to heaven in mock despair. Again, the expression reminded Will forcefully of Halt.

"That just sucks," said the Ranger. "What did you think of? Life? No, of course not. Death and despair..."

"Well," began Will slowly, "this fooken two knife stuff is down and whatever...but don't it be all good if I just whoop the fookas down with a couple of them nice arrows we got before da guy got close enough to smash ya?"

"Of course Will. It definitely would be much better, but what a terrible thing it would be if your bowstring just happened to break?"

"I'd run me little arse into da bushes."

"What if there just happened to be not a single place to hide? What a shame it would be if you were against a sheer cliff. Nowhere to go. Your bowstring conveniently broken and a really pissed off bloke coming at you. What then?"

Will shook his head. "Then, I reckon I'd hafta fight the fooka."

"That's my point." Gilan said knowingly. "We avoid close combat if possible. But if the time does happen to come when there's no other choice, it's the best idea to be prepared."

"I guess foh shizzle ma nizzle."

Then Horace chimed in with a question.

"What 'bout a axeman?" Gilan looked at him, nonplussed for a moment.

"An axeman?"

"Yearh. What bout you're facin' a enemy with a battleaxe? Do your sharpies work then?"

"I wouldn't advise it."

"So then what do I fooken do?" Will asked.

"Shoot him." Will shook his head grinning.

"Can't. Me bowstring's broken, foh shizzle ma nizzle."

"Run and hide then."

"But there's a cliff," Horace pointed out. "A biiiiiggggg drop behind you and a angry axeman comin' at you."

Gilan took a breath. He was emo. It was a well known thing and these two boys were asking him what to do in this situation. Isn't it obvious? He thought.

He looked both of them in the eye, one after the other.

"Jump. Off. The. Cliff......duh."

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**So that's it for another chappie...hope you enjoyed...REVIEW!!**

**luv u all..**

**passion.**


	2. Jump Off

**kk..this is the next chapter..this bit I made up..not based on any of the books...the next chapter and possibly the one after are joined to this one...**

**fankumusheer very much to all the peoples who reviewed..**

**Will = gangsta**

**Halt = stuck up poshie**

**this is my first with Halt...**

**ENJOY!!..**

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Will and Halt had been riding for a couple of days. They were heading to the annual Ranger's Gathering and Will was getting bored.

"Yo Halt, my man. When are we arrivin' at dis thingo, fo shizzle mah nizzle?"

"Please do be patient, my young friend," Halt replied.

"But, my master man, it's fooken boren, sittin 'ere doing nuffin."

"William! Please do be more patient. I do have not a clue what to do with you."

"Soz Halt. I'm just bored, fo shizzle mah nizzle."

They rode in silence for a bit longer than Will said, "How bouts we play Eye Spy?"

Halt sighed. He seriously doubted if his apprentice was ever going to learn but just to make him shut up, Halt agreed.

"Righttio, " Will said. "Eye spy wit meh lil' eye, somethin' startin wit 'T'."

Halt sighed, again. "Oh I don't know William," he said, obviously already bored. "Tree?"

Will shook his head.

"Would it happen to be 'track'?"

"You're never gonna guess it my man, fo shizzle mah nizzle."

"Well then William. You tell me what it is."

"You're giving up already?"

Halt nodded.

Will shook his head. "Sadness Halt. Pure sadness...anyway...it.......was..." he paused for effect, then held up his hand, "THUMB!!"

Halt rolled his eyes, trust Will to do something as trivial as 'thumb'.

"William," he said to get his apprentice's attention. Will looked up from his hand which he was studying with a look on his face as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "That was stupid."

Will looked offended. "It soooo was not, fo shizzle mah nizzle!"

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too times infity."

"Was not fo shizzle mah nizzle."

"Drizzle."

And Halt won that argument.

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**review :D **

**luv u all..**

**passion.**


	3. The Gathering Pt1

**alrightty guys..this ones only short...um...to thnxX to the people who reviewed...can I just say, if u like the story - great, if u don't I rly dont mind...you can tell me if you dont like it I have no problem with that and I knew when I started that not everyone was gonna like it but c'mon guys..no flames please...if you wanna tell me you dont like it and why tell me in a decent way please...its really not nice when I PMs and stuff of people saying they dont like it in a really mean way...so just think about what youre saying please cause sometimes it can be mean..**

**anyways...the gathering..PART 2!! :D**

**Will = gangsta  
Halt = poshie  
Gilan = emo**

**ENJOY!!..**

Halt and Will rode into the Gathering grounds silently. They were two of the first Rangers to arrive. They were a few Rangers setting up their tents over that way and another one the other way. Halt was looking around to see if his former apprentice Gilan had arrived yet.

He hadn't so Halt and Will found a nice spot, set up and waited around for a bit. The two watched as Rangers arrived and greeted old friends, introduced apprentices and caught up with each other.

After about an hour Will noticed Gilan ride in on Blaze. He watched as Gilan rode over to them and Halt stood up to greet his old friend. Will did the same.

"Why, hello there young Gilan," Halt said, shaking his hand. "How do you do?"

"Oh, just fine." Gilan replied. "Whatever could be wrong?" then he turned to greet Will. "Hello Will."

"S'up Gil, fo shizzle mah nizzle. How's it all hanging?"

"Absolutely wonderful."

Will sat down and listened as the two older Rangers caught up. Gilan was telling Halt about a mission he'd had in some remote fief.

Later, Will started preparing something for dinner. As he did he noticed Halt asked Gilan something and immediately their voices lowered. Will sighed, it was obviously something they didn't want him to know about.

Then Will noticed the way Gilan kept rubbing his arm and he confronted him.

"Gilan, my man?"

"Not now William." Halt said, but his apprentice ignored him.

"Gil?"

"Yes Will, what do you want?"

"Have you been cutting again, fo shizzle mah nizzle?"

"No, of course not."

It was at that moment Gilan took out a knife…

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**review :D**

**luv u all..**

**passion.**


	4. The Gathering Pt2

**really really really really really really really really short one here but I just HAD to get it out :D came to me as I was reading Kings of Clonmel at school and my friend came and said 'whats up?'..**

**ENJOY!!..**

He let go a small sigh of relief as he saw Horace's stride was firm and unfaltering. Then his heart missed a beat as the young man leaned down to him and said, in a conversational tone and without any outward sign of concern:

"Halt, we have a problem."

"What's up?"

"Well, the sky apparently but you know...I can't actually see it."

The three of them stopped.

__________

**very very small...but I needed to get it out!!..**

**luv u all..**

**passion.**


	5. HAVNT READ8 I WOULDNT RECOMEND READING!

**really really really really really really really really short one here but I just HAD to get it out :D came to me as I was reading Kings of Clonmel at school and my friend came and said 'whats up?'..**

**ENJOY!!..**

He let go a small sigh of relief as he saw Horace's stride was firm and unfaltering. Then his heart missed a beat as the young man leaned down to him and said, in a conversational tone and without any outward sign of concern:

"Halt, we have a problem."

"What's up?"

"Well, the sky apparently but you know...I can't actually see it."

The three of them stopped.

__________

**very very small...but I needed to get it out!!..**

**luv u all..**

**passion.**


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